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“Saying goodbye during lockdown was devastating, but the hospice helped us through it”

12 January 2021
Adam Watkinson holding picture

After Adam Watkinson’s wife Sue was admitted to St Giles Hospice in March last year, he faced the heartbreaking situation of being separated from her because of Covid-19.

Adam, a Diocesan priest from Lichfield in the West Midlands, had to say his final farewells to Sue before going into self-isolation, as it appeared she had caught the virus. However he says that even though he could not be with her, the knowledge that she was well cared for and did not die in fear was the greatest gift the hospice could give him at such a difficult time.

Sue was receiving palliative care as an inpatient at the hospice, when one morning she called Adam and told him she was struggling to breathe. He rushed to her bedside, worried that she was taking her last breaths, but the nurses helped to reassure them both.

Saying goodbye

Later that morning St Giles Clinical Director Katie Burbridge had to tell Adam the devastating news that they suspected she had Covid-19, and were waiting for the test results.

Adam said: “At that time - in the height of lockdown - and because I too had possibly been exposed to Coronavirus, I had no choice but to self-isolate following Government guidance.

“I sat next to Sue, holding her hand. She was wearing a watch that I had bought her just weeks before and I watched the minutes on it ticking down to 12, knowing from that moment on I’d probably never see her again.

“It was such an emotional moment for everyone, but Katie was so helpful and thoughtful. She knelt down next to Sue, held her hand and told her that she would keep her safe. It was a beautiful moment at such a terrible time. Katie’s reassurance was so important to us both.”

Providing comfort and reassurance

Sue, who worked as Matron-in-College at Eton School, was initially diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2018. During term time she and Adam lived apart, but during the holidays the couple shared a home with Sue’s son Sam.

Sue fell ill on New Year’s Eve in 2019, and a scan revealed that her cancer had returned and spread. She began chemotherapy, but developed sepsis and was told that the treatment would have to end, and she would receive palliative care.

She was admitted to St Giles on March 20th in the hope that her condition could be stabilised enough for her to return home, and Adam spent as much time with her there as he could.

 “Right from day one she was totally reassured that St Giles was the best place for her to be” Adam said. “The nurses started caring for her straight away - no detail was left unchecked and they looked after her so well.

“The food was lovely and Sue was able to enjoy it – it was wonderful to see her regain her appetite and enjoy eating again. She loved birds and her room looked out onto the trees. We were allowed to put bird feeders up so she could watch them, which was such a joy.”

Compassionate care in difficult times

Two days later Adam was told that family visits were being limited to one a day due to the national rise in Covid-19 cases, and further safety measures were introduced in accordance with Government guidelines.

“The staff were all so wonderful and we looked upon them as family” he added. “They started to wear protective clothing – but despite that, we could still see their eyes and could see the love and compassion that was there. I preach about love and self-sacrifice but at St Giles I was watching it in action every day.

“They showed such professionalism, with humanity and gentleness. When the nation clapped for the NHS and health staff each week, I could put real faces to them.”

Adam has been sharing his story to support Katie’s Appeal, a fundraising campaign for the hospice named after their Clinical Director, who pledged to look after Sue during her final days when Adam was unable to visit.

"Sue was going to face death without him” Katie said, “but we made sure we were 100 per cent with her and she was never, ever on her own. That's the promise I made to Adam and that's the promise we kept as a team.

“We are so indebted to Adam for his kind support, and honoured we were able to offer Sue and Adam comfort at such a heartbreaking time.”

A place of life, not death

Adam continued: “It’s so important that other families continue to get the care, love and reassurance that Sue and I received. I was devastated when we had to part, but Sue told me not to get too upset and that it would just be like when we went to work at our separate schools. It was a relief to see that she had such acceptance.

"Sue’s end – when it came – was quite beautiful. She passed away on the morning of Sunday, 29th March, after a night of restful sleep. She could see the birds through the window, and one of the nurses who was caring for Sue noticed a change in her breathing and was holding her hand as she slipped away.

“When we first arrived at St Giles a nurse said that the hospice was about life, not death, and we got a real sense of that. It’s not a place to be feared. There’s a vibrancy, there’s a care and there’s a joy.”

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